For the first time in forever (no, don’t you start singing that song from Frozen) I have been offended and insulted because of my race. It felt personal, even though it was a joke. Point taken.
“You wouldn’t be Native Americans, because you killed all of them.”
Like wow, burn much, I mean… that actually stung my feelings, felt like I was being blamed for something that I didn’t even do and not all white people did do that either.
It’s like… I’m white and therefor should be punished for all the crimes that bad white people did and everyone forget the good that white people did.
- Let’s forget how Natives raped and tortured the pioneer woman and other Native tribes.
- Or how Africans and Nigerians sold their own people for money, not just us, or that they’d enslave them unto themselves.
- Let’s also forget that Egyptians enslaved Jews.
- Let’s forget that white people enslaved White people.
- Let’s forget how white people fought and died for the freedom of black people.
- Let’s forget that white people were slaves to people in other places.
Racism is racism. Regardless of color or nationality or where you were born.
Every race has been enslaved by their own and by others.
We can’t blame “white people” for everything.
Some people are still being enslaved, but let’s forget about them too and focus on how much we all hate and blame white people for everything. I hope people realize that blaming solves nothing, action does.
Like a friend of mine said: “The issue is that people keep bringing things up from the past to justify their actions for racism.”
(This is what she said after I wrote all that stuff above… but she’s right, regardless of whether or not we are racist, we can’t keep bringing up the past to support our actions. We are supposed to learn from the past not live in the past.)
“Racism; the only way it’ll get better is when people stop bringing up the past to justify their actions in the present. This goes for everyone. I may be white but that doesn’t mean I deserve anyone’s hate if I didn’t personally hurt them. Your color doesn’t define you. Your words do not define you. Your actions define you. Peace and freedom cannot be found through hate and force. Again, applies to everyone, regardless of color.”
In my short 21 years of living I’ve seen and heard and felt so much wrong. I’ve done wrong things myself. Terrible things. I hear how people say there are things that they are not proud of; but what about things that we are ashamed of?
When I was a child I took a kitten by it’s tail and swung it around. Why? Because it didn’t want to hug me. Yes, I know, that’s fucked up. But even though I’ve rescued so many kittens and animals from starvation, cold, or pain… I can never undo the damage I caused and that poor kitten will never now the sorrow and guilt I feel. How sorry I am and how much I wish I could make up for what I had done.
But humans can. They can make up for the sins they’ve committed. When I say “sin” I don’t mean religiously, I mean spiritually; that gut wrenching sickness you feel when you’ve done something wrong. How bad it makes you feel and how you don’t want to feel it so you brush it off to the side and try to justify what you have done.
I’ll be one of many others to admit that forgiveness is hard. And honestly, I don’t know which one is more difficult, forgiving others or forgiving yourself. There are some things that I cannot forgive that others have done because I cannot forget it; it constantly pops back into my mind and I’m reminded of how I had trusted someone only to have them hurt me.
And then there’s forgiving yourself. And that’s just as hard because no matter how much you try to, you may always feel that same disgusting guilt for what you’ve done.
I feel that this is why people have “pride”, because they try to forgive and are reminded over and over again of what someone did or what they have done and it’s easier to ignore that pain and push it deep down instead of facing it head on and admitting that they/you were wrong and to forgive then/yourself and move on. I want to say “make up for what they/you have done”, but that’s the thing… you cannot undo the harm you’ve done. That’s why we need to live in the present and constantly think of our actions and what we are doing and what we will do. We may not be held accountable for how someone takes what we say to heart but we are still held accountable for what we say and what we do.
Now comes the level in which we have to apply this to our lives. But let’s get real, who the fuck has the time for that?
I’ve written my poetry and they all sound the same. Oh woe is me and help me that but what exactly is that accomplishing?
A small fleeting moment to feel good? “Oh wow, yay, I actually did something today. Took SOOO much energy.”
Like, come on, this shit aint original. It’s all the same crap said differently, but the meaning and context is the same.
I do it and think I’m so unique, but really I’m not. Fuck, this shit I’m saying now has probably already been said.
So how bout I stop doing the copies of others and you and I both start being original. Cause this shit’s boring and depressing as fuck.
And with that, Happy belated Easter and April Fools day.
Hope you have a good summer.
(Anime girl represent the “Yeah, let’s not be sheeple.” Type of blunt look you’d give someone.)