Letter to Myself

So I was just watching TeensReact to Amanda Todd’s vid; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VF6cmddWOgU
I was reading all the “The sad part is…” type of comments and here’s what I think.

The sad part is that this girl gave up.

We all live sad, miserable, fucked up lives where bad and unfair shit happens to us.

We even get bad shit coming our way that we deserve.

But the strong and adaptive carry on, the weak give up.

She may have been a sweet girl, but she wasn’t a good person and she wasn’t a strong one either.

Suicide is sad, but no matter what reasons or excuses we have, in the end, it’s our choice on what we decide.

Someone can have a gun to your head and tell you to kill yourself and you can either fight back or give in.

Someone can have a gun to someone’s head whom you love or care about or is innocent and you can still make a choice.

You can choose to fight, run, or die.

Everything is your choice.

Even not paying bills and taxes, sure there are consequences but it’s your choice.

No one can you force you to do anything, you let them.

Take back your life and don’t let others dictate what you can and cannot do.

It’s your life, you only have one; live it.

Little Sad Poem

I can’t let my hate go.

It’s all that’s left, all I’ve ever know.

It keeps me going, while I lick my wounds.

I’m too coward to let my guard down, especially around you.

I’m too weak to forgive, even if it would set me free.

Too tainted to get back what has been lost, it’s just a ghost of what I had painted.

And worst of all; I’m too afraid to show myself to you.

Her Lost Soul

Her life is gone.
Her hope in shambles.
Her dreams have crumbled.

What is there to say?
Not much, I’m afraid.
It’s a bitter death to a harsh growth.

Left abandoned by her supposed friends.
Left hanging onto nothing, drifting to and fro.
Left crying in a corner, invisible to the world.

She thought this was it,
Where she could find some friends.
But always it’s a lie, another stumbling block.

There’s not a drop of life in her.
There’s not a hope to be found.
There’s not a dream to be spared.

Pain Again

lost_in_the_dark

I feel so helpless.

I don’t know what to do.

My chest ignites with fever.

My vision snaps inward.

All I see is ash.

Decay from what once was.

Again I’m left abandoned.

To fade & crumble within.

What am I going to do.

All I am is gone.

I grasp my tainted razor.

And lead it to my skin.

The blade bites my soul.

Sanguine flares up from within.

Taking out the torment.

I inhale a ragged breath.

Feeling sober once again.

But it’s never over.

And my pain is never gone.